Going to family court without losing a year

The short answer

A family court case is mostly a series of meetings with a judge designed to get you to settle. In Ontario that means a mandatory information session, then case and settlement conferences, with motions for temporary orders and, only if nothing else works, a trial. BC and Alberta require a parenting course for many cases. Most cases settle before trial. You save time by preparing full disclosure early, making reasonable written offers, and using mediation alongside the court process.

You tried to agree. It did not work, or your spouse would not engage, and now one of you has started a court case, or is about to. Family court can feel like a black box: forms, dates, unfamiliar words, and a fear that it will swallow a year and your savings.

It does not have to. This guide walks through the stages in Ontario, then the key differences in BC, Alberta and the US, and shows where at each step you can settle and stop. It is general information, not legal advice. Court rules differ by province and state and are updated often, so check your local court's guidance and speak with a lawyer.

Before you file

The Divorce Act says that, where appropriate, parties should try to resolve matters through a family dispute resolution process such as negotiation, mediation or collaborative law. Ontario's Ministry of the Attorney General recommends researching these options first unless your issues are urgent, while noting that mediation may not be appropriate where there is violence or abuse, and that court may then be the better option.

If you have not already, see what to do when your spouse will not cooperate, and check the legal aid and low-cost help available where you live.

Ontario, step by step

1. Starting the case

The person who starts the case is the applicant; the other is the respondent. Ontario has Family Law Information Centres at every family court, with free information, forms and, at set times, Legal Aid Ontario duty counsel or advice lawyers for people who qualify. The free Guided Pathways tool from CLEO helps fill out the forms.

2. The Mandatory Information Program

In most cases, once an application is filed, the clerk schedules each of you for a separate, free Mandatory Information Program (MIP) session. It lasts one hour if you have no children and two hours if you do, and covers the impact of separation on families, options including mediation, and legal issues like child support. Unless you are exempt, you must attend before your first appearance or case conference and within 45 days of the case starting. Not attending can lead to a costs order against you. Exemptions include having attended one before, proceeding on consent, and a case that is only about a divorce.

3. First appearance

In some courts, generally the Family Court Branch of the Superior Court unless the case involves divorce or property, the next step is a first appearance with a court clerk, who checks that everything has been served and filed. Where there is no first appearance, one of you must ask the clerk to schedule a case conference. It is not booked automatically.

4. Case conference

This is usually the first time you both speak to a judge. The judge discusses the chances of settling, identifies what is and is not agreed, checks whether you have exchanged the information needed, and sets next steps, often orders to produce documents such as bank and credit card statements. Steps to Justice advises planning for at least half a day in court, although conferences generally take about an hour. Conference briefs are returned at the end, and what is said is private: it cannot be used as evidence at a motion or trial.

Since August 2021, couples who have already tried mediation can sometimes go straight to a combined case and settlement conference, if they have been screened for power imbalances and domestic violence, exchanged financial statements, filed a Certificate of Dispute Resolution (Form 17G) and have no outstanding motions for temporary orders.

5. Motions for temporary orders

A motion asks a judge to decide a specific issue before trial, such as a temporary parenting schedule or temporary child support. In most cases you must attend a case conference first. The exceptions are urgency, for example immediate risk to your or your child's safety, and hardship, for example support needed for basic shelter and food. A premature motion can lead to a costs order. Our guide to interim arrangements covers this in more detail.

6. Settlement conference

If case conferences have not resolved things, the judge may schedule a settlement conference. Its goals are to discuss ways to resolve the issues, hear the judge's view of how the court may decide, and set next steps. Steps to Justice notes the judge is more likely to give an opinion here, which is often what moves people to settle.

7. Trial management conference and trial

When a judge thinks the case cannot settle, a trial management conference prepares it for trial and makes one last attempt to settle. At trial, a judge alone decides on the balance of probabilities, using witnesses and documents. Trials are usually open to the public. The applicant must serve and file a trial record at least 20 days before the trial or trial sitting. A trial can last less than a day or several weeks.

The Ministry is clear that trials cost significant time and money, that it can be hard to parent together afterwards, and that most family cases are resolved without a trial.

British Columbia

BC has two courts for family matters. The Provincial Court can deal with parenting, support and protection orders, but not property or debt division, apart from companion animals; those go to the Supreme Court.

In every Provincial Court location you must complete a free Parenting After Separation (PAS) course before your first court date, the family management conference, unless you are exempt. Exemptions include having taken PAS in the past two years, a case only about spousal support, all children being 19 or older, and filing a consent order. In Supreme Court the judge may suggest PAS, but it is not mandatory.

Some Provincial Court registries are Early Resolution Registries. There, before you can file an application, you must complete a needs assessment with a family justice counsellor, the PAS course if it applies, and a consensual dispute resolution session if appropriate. Family Justice Centres offer free help with these steps.

Alberta

The Government of Alberta requires the Parenting After Separation course before you file a divorce application or a Family Law Act application in the Court of King's Bench, or when a judge directs. There is a separate course for families in high conflict.

Other provinces and Quebec have their own steps; start with your provincial guide.

In the United States

Each state has its own procedure. California's courts describe four main steps: one spouse files and serves papers and the other can respond; both share financial information; you decide property, debts, children and support, by agreement or through the court; then final paperwork is submitted. A California divorce takes at least six months. Temporary orders are requested with a Request for Order (form FL-300), and the court may order parents to attend mediation before a custody hearing. In Oregon, temporary orders on support, property use and parenting can be requested once a petition is filed. Ask your court's self-help centre what applies where you live.

How not to lose a year

Disclose fully and early. Many conferences end with orders to produce documents. Bring them the first time. Use the financial disclosure checklist.
Make a written offer to settle. In Ontario you can make one at any time, even before a case starts. Under the rules, someone who does not accept a reasonable offer may have to pay part of the other side's legal costs.
Use mediation alongside court. Every Ontario family court offers subsidised mediation: up to 8 hours at income-based fees starting at $5 an hour, and up to 2 hours free if you have a court case.
Settle what you can. You can agree some issues and leave others to the judge. Agreed terms can become a consent order or minutes of settlement at any stage.
Get help for the hard steps. Lawyers offer unbundled or limited scope services for a single conference or motion. Legal Aid Ontario's summary advice line is 1-800-668-8258.

"Before the settlement conference, here is a written offer on support and the schedule. I am open to meeting with a mediator on the property issues."

"I will see you at trial."

When to get professional help

Get at least a consultation before you file, before any motion, and before a settlement conference, when a lawyer can tell you how a judge is likely to see your case. If there is family violence, speak to a lawyer or victim services first. The FairWell directory lists family lawyers and mediators by province and state. If you settle, Separation Agreement Prep helps you turn agreed terms into a draft for review.

This guide is general information, not legal advice. Court procedures differ by province and state and change often. Check your local court's guidance and a lawyer's advice before relying on it.

Sources

Common questions

How long does a family court case take?

It varies widely by court, issues and how much you agree on. The official guides we reviewed do not give a standard timeline. What reliably shortens it is early full disclosure, reasonable written offers and settling issues as you go. California divorces take at least six months by law.

Do I have to go to a trial?

Rarely. Ontario's Ministry of the Attorney General says most family cases are resolved without a trial. Each conference is designed to help you settle, and you can agree terms at any stage.

What happens at a case conference?

You and your spouse meet a judge, usually for about an hour, to identify what is agreed and what is not, check that information has been exchanged, and set next steps. What is said is private and cannot be used as evidence later.

Can I get a temporary order before the case conference?

In Ontario, usually only if the matter is urgent, such as a safety risk, or causing hardship, such as no money for basic needs. Otherwise a case conference comes first, and a premature motion can lead to a costs order.

Do I need to take a parenting course?

Often. Ontario requires a Mandatory Information Program session in most cases. BC requires Parenting After Separation before a first Provincial Court date unless exempt. Alberta requires it before filing a divorce or Family Law Act application in the Court of King's Bench.

Settle the issues you can, before the next court date

Separation Agreement Prep helps you and your spouse organise disclosure and agreed terms into a draft a lawyer can review, so the judge only has to deal with what is genuinely left. It is preparation for professional review, not a substitute for it.

Start your separation agreement

This guide is general information for parents, not medical, psychological or legal advice. It draws on published research and guidance from recognised health and family justice bodies, listed under Sources. Every child and family is different. If you are worried about your child or yourself, talk to your family doctor or a qualified professional. FairWell can help you find one through the professional directory. How we write and check our guides.