When your ex won't pay: enforcing child and spousal support in Canada and the US

Signing the agreement was supposed to be the end. Then the payments start arriving late, then short, then not at all, and every month you are choosing between confronting your ex and covering the shortfall yourself. The good news is that support enforcement is one of the few areas where the machinery is built for you. You just have to switch it on.

Enforcement agencies

Canada

Every province and territory runs a maintenance enforcement program: the Family Responsibility Office (FRO) in Ontario, the Maintenance Enforcement Program (MEP) in Alberta, the Family Maintenance Enforcement Program (FMEP) in BC, and equivalents elsewhere. Once a support order or a filed agreement is registered, the agency collects from the payor and pays the recipient, so you never have to chase money directly. Their tools include:

• Garnishing wages, bank accounts and federal payments including tax refunds, EI and CPP
• Suspending driver's licences and, through federal legislation, passports
• Reporting arrears to credit bureaus
• Registering liens against property
• Seizing lottery winnings
• Bringing default hearings that can result in jail for wilful non-payment

Arrangements exist between provinces and with the US and many other countries for reciprocal enforcement, so a payor who moves does not escape.

United States

Every state operates a child support enforcement agency under federal Title IV-D, and many also enforce spousal support where it is combined with child support. Tools mirror the Canadian ones: income withholding orders sent directly to employers, tax refund intercepts, licence suspensions, passport denial for arrears over $2,500, credit reporting, liens, and contempt proceedings. The federal Office of Child Support Services coordinates interstate cases under the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act. Services are free or nearly free.

Step one: make your agreement enforceable

A private separation agreement is a contract. To use the enforcement machinery it usually needs to be filed with the court and registered with the agency. In Ontario, a domestic contract can be filed with the court under section 35 of the Family Law Act and then enrolled with the FRO. Other provinces have similar processes. In the US, support terms are normally incorporated into the divorce decree or a court order, which the agency then enforces. If you have an agreement that was never filed, do it now, before there is a default. FairWell's Complete Separation Package includes filing guidance for your province or state.

Step two: keep records

Enforcement runs on numbers. Keep a ledger of every payment due and received, with dates. Keep the agreement, any amendments, and every message about payment. If payments were informal, cash or e-transfer, gather the evidence now. Agencies and courts calculate arrears from records, and the parent with the better records usually wins the argument about what was paid.

Step three: act early

Arrears compound. A payor who is $2,000 behind can usually catch up; a payor who is $40,000 behind often cannot, and the agency's tools become less effective as the debt outgrows the payor's income. Register as soon as the pattern of non-payment is clear. Do not accept promises in place of payments for more than a month or two.

What you can and cannot do yourself

You cannot withhold parenting time because support is unpaid. In both countries, support and parenting are separate obligations; denying access to the children is a breach of your own obligations and damages your position. You also should not agree to reduce support informally to keep the peace. Any change should be in writing, and ideally through the agreement's variation process, or the enforcement agency will keep collecting the original amount, which creates a mess.

When the payor genuinely cannot pay

Job loss, illness and business failure happen. The right response from a payor is to seek a variation immediately with full disclosure, not to stop paying. Read how agreements are varied. Enforcement agencies can negotiate payment plans on arrears, and courts can rescind arrears in limited circumstances where the payor truly could not pay and asked for a change promptly. They rarely forgive arrears for payors who simply stopped and stayed silent.

Enforcing other terms

Enforcement agencies handle support. Other obligations, such as a payment for the house, transferring an RRSP, or maintaining life insurance, are enforced through the courts as contract or order breaches. This is why security for large payments matters at the drafting stage, and why life insurance clauses should include proof-of-coverage requirements.

Cross-border payors

If your ex has moved to another province, state or country, register with your home agency first. They will initiate reciprocal enforcement. Canada and the US have reciprocity between most provinces and states, and Canada has arrangements with dozens of other countries. It is slower, but it works.

A note on tone

Registering with an enforcement agency is not an act of aggression. Many payors prefer it, because the agency handles the logistics and removes money from the conversation between the two of you. Frame it that way if you are worried about the reaction.

This guide is legal information, not legal advice, and it is written for a general audience across Canada and the United States. Family law is provincial and state-based and changes over time. Before you rely on anything here for your own situation, confirm it with a qualified family lawyer in your province or state. FairWell can connect you with one through the professional directory.