Moving with the kids after separation: relocation rules in Canada and the US

Relocation cases are the ones family lawyers describe as the hardest, because there is no compromise available. A child cannot live in two cities. One parent's legitimate reasons for moving collide with the other parent's legitimate right to a relationship with their child, and a judge has to choose. This guide explains the framework so that, whichever side you are on, you go in prepared.

If you are the parent who wants to move, you may feel trapped by a decision you made years ago. If you are the parent facing a move, you may be terrified of becoming a holiday visitor in your child's life. Both fears are legitimate. The process works best for children when each parent takes the other's fear seriously.

What counts as relocation?

Not every move is a relocation. Moving across town is a change of residence that may affect logistics but not the parenting arrangement. Relocation is a move that would have a significant impact on the child's relationship with the other parent or with people important in the child's life. In practice, anything that makes the current schedule unworkable, whether that is 200 kilometres or another country, will be treated as a relocation. See relocation in our glossary.

A smaller move still has rules. Under the Divorce Act, a parent with parenting time or decision-making responsibility who changes their own or the child's residence must tell the other parent in writing, giving the date of the move and the new address and contact details, even when it is not a relocation.

How does relocation work under Canada's Divorce Act?

Since March 2021, the federal Divorce Act sets out a detailed process for divorced or divorcing parents. Provincial statutes, including Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act and BC's Family Law Act, have adopted very similar rules for unmarried parents.

Notice

A parent who wants to relocate must give at least 60 days written notice to anyone with parenting time or decision-making responsibility. The notice must state the expected date, the new address, and a proposal for how parenting time and decision-making will work after the move. There are prescribed forms. Courts can waive the notice requirement where there is family violence.

Objection

The other parent has 30 days to object, either using the prescribed form or by starting a court application. If they do not object in time and there is no existing order prohibiting the move, the relocation can proceed. If they object, the move cannot happen until a court authorises it or the parents agree.

Burden of proof

This is the part that shapes strategy. If the child spends substantially equal time with each parent, the relocating parent must show the move is in the child's best interests. If the child spends the vast majority of time with the relocating parent, the objecting parent must show it is not. Anywhere in between, each parent bears the burden of proving their own position.

What the court considers

The general best-interests factors, plus relocation-specific ones:

• The reasons for the relocation
• The impact on the child
• The amount of time each parent spends with the child and the level of involvement of each
• Whether the relocating parent complied with the notice requirement
• Any existing order or agreement that specifies where the child is to live
• The reasonableness of the relocating parent's proposal to preserve the relationship with the other parent
• Whether each parent has complied with their existing obligations

One rule is explicit: the court may not consider whether the relocating parent would move without the child. The "would you go anyway" question, once a staple of cross-examination, is off the table.

How does relocation work in the United States?

Every state regulates relocation, and the details differ. Most require advance written notice to the other parent, with an opportunity to object, but the notice period, the distance or type of move that triggers the rules, and the test the court applies are set by each state's statute and case law. Some states have given a primary custodial parent more room to move; others require the moving parent to show a legitimate purpose and that the move is in the child's best interests. The trend has been toward a straight best-interests analysis: New Jersey, for example, abandoned its earlier test that favoured the custodial parent in 2017. Where parents share physical custody roughly equally, moving is usually harder. Check your state through our province and state hubs and get local advice before acting.

The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act governs which state's court has authority, which matters if the move is interstate. A parent who moves first and asks later risks an order returning the child and a serious loss of credibility.

If you want to move

Build the case around the child, not you

Better schools, closer extended family, lower cost of living, a job that means more stability at home: these are the child's interests. A new relationship or a fresh start are your interests, and courts weigh them accordingly.

Make the other parent's relationship survivable

The single most important part of a relocation proposal is the plan for the other parent. Longer blocks in summer and school holidays, regular video contact, a share of travel costs, an adjustment to child support to reflect the other parent's travel expenses, and a commitment to fly the child back for key events. Proposals that treat the other parent as an afterthought fail.

Before the formal notice, a conversation often goes better than a form arriving out of the blue. You might say: "I've been offered a job in Calgary and I'm seriously considering it. I know what this would mean for you and the kids, and I don't want to decide anything before we talk. I've sketched out how you could still have real time with them, including summers and flights I'd help pay for. Can we sit down, or meet with a mediator, before I decide?" Then follow up with the written notice the law requires.

Follow the process exactly

Give proper notice, in the prescribed form, well ahead of any commitment. Do not sign a lease or accept a job that requires a move before you have consent or an order. Compliance is one of the listed factors and judges notice.

If you want to oppose a move

Object in time and in the right form. Then focus your evidence on your actual involvement: school pickups, medical appointments, activities, overnights, the routines you and the child share. Vague claims about being a good parent carry little weight; a calendar showing three years of Tuesday-night dinners carries a lot. Consider what alternative you can offer: could the child stay with you, and what would that look like day to day?

Keep your reply to the other parent short and calm, even if you feel blindsided: "I've received your notice. I can't agree to the move as proposed because of what it would mean for my time with the kids. I'm open to mediation to look at options. I'll be filing my objection within the deadline so we have time to talk." Do not discuss the dispute with the children or ask them where they want to live.

Negotiated relocations

Many relocations settle. The moving parent gives up something (a longer summer block, a bigger share of travel, a reduction in support) in exchange for consent. FairWell's Parenting Plan Builder asks about long-distance schedules and relocation (notice, consent and how disagreements are settled), so you can agree a framework with your lawyer or mediator before anyone wants to move. For a worked scenario, see shared parenting and a job in another city.

International moves

Both Canada and the US are parties to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. A child taken abroad without consent or a court order can be ordered returned. If you are contemplating a move to another country, get legal advice before any planning becomes visible. See Hague Convention in our glossary.

Talking to your children about a move

Do not tell the children about a proposed move until it has been agreed or decided. Telling them early turns them into participants in the dispute and can look, to a court, like an attempt to recruit them. Once it is settled, tell them together if you can.

• Young children need concrete pictures: "We're going to live in a new house near Grandma. You'll see Dad every school holiday and all summer, and you'll talk on video every Tuesday and Sunday. Here's the calendar."
• School-age children worry about friends, school and the parent being left: "Dad is okay with this plan, and he helped make it. It's fine to be sad about leaving, and it's fine to be excited too."
• Teenagers should hear the plan early once it is decided, and have real input on how they keep in touch and what happens with their activities and friendships.

The parent staying behind has a big role too: "I'll miss you, and I'm proud of you. We're going to have the best summers." Children take their cue on whether a move is a loss or an adventure from both parents.

What to do this week

1. Check what governs you: an existing order or agreement, the Divorce Act, your provincial law or your state's statute. Look for any clause about moving or where the child must live.
2. Diarise the deadlines. In Canada, 60 days' notice before the move and 30 days to object. In the US, check your state.
3. Gather evidence of the current arrangement: calendars, school and medical involvement, activities.
4. Draft a long-distance schedule, including travel, costs and video contact, whichever side you are on.
5. Book a consultation with a family lawyer and consider mediation before positions harden. Our professional directory lists both.

This guide is legal information, not legal advice, and it is written for a general audience across Canada and the United States. Family law is provincial and state-based and changes over time. Before you rely on anything here for your own situation, confirm it with a qualified family lawyer in your province or state. FairWell can connect you with one through the professional directory. How we write and check our guides.