Clause ideasto take to your lawyer.

Alternating holidays by year

When it helps: You want holidays to be predictable for years ahead instead of negotiated each time.

Illustrative wordingThe children will spend the first half of the winter school break with [Parent A] in even-numbered years and with [Parent B] in odd-numbered years, and the second half with the other parent. Holiday time replaces the regular schedule.

Read the related guide

Children's birthdays

When it helps: You want both parents to see the children on their birthdays without rearranging the whole week.

Illustrative wordingOn each child's birthday, the parent who does not have the children that day may spend [two hours] with them at a time agreed at least [one week] ahead.

Each parent's special days

When it helps: You want days like Mother's Day, Father's Day or a parent's birthday to be spent with that parent.

Illustrative wordingThe children will spend [Mother's Day / Father's Day / each parent's birthday] with that parent from [10 a.m. to 6 p.m.], whatever the regular schedule says.

Choosing summer vacation weeks

When it helps: You both want uninterrupted summer time and need a fair way to pick dates.

Illustrative wordingEach parent may choose up to [two] weeks of summer vacation with the children. In even years [Parent A] picks first by [April 1]; in odd years [Parent B] picks first. The other parent picks by [April 15]. Weeks not chosen follow the regular schedule.

A schedule that grows with the children

When it helps: Your children are young now and you expect the schedule to change as they grow.

Illustrative wordingUntil [the youngest child] turns [5], the children will be with [Parent B] [every other weekend and one evening each week]. After that, the schedule will move to [a 2-2-3 rotation], unless both parents agree otherwise in writing.

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Hearing teenagers' views

When it helps: Your children are old enough to have strong opinions about the schedule.

Illustrative wordingWhen a child is [12] or older, the parents will listen to the child's views about the schedule without asking the child to choose between them. Any change still needs both parents' written agreement.

Read the related guide

First option for childcare

When it helps: You would rather the children spend time with the other parent than with a sitter.

Illustrative wordingIf a parent cannot care for the children for more than [4 hours] during their own parenting time, they will first offer that time to the other parent before arranging other childcare.

Where the law differs: In high-conflict situations, some professionals advise against a first-option clause because it increases contact. Ask what suits your situation.

Swapping days

When it helps: You want flexibility without arguments about what was agreed.

Illustrative wordingEither parent may ask to change the schedule by message at least [7] days ahead. The other parent will reply within [48 hours]. A change is only confirmed when both agree in writing. Missed time is not made up unless both agree.

Handovers at school

When it helps: Handovers in person are tense and you want to reduce contact in front of the children.

Illustrative wordingHandovers will happen at [school or daycare] at the end of the day. On non-school days, handovers will happen at [a public place] at [5 p.m.]. The parent starting their time will pick the children up.

When someone is late

When it helps: Late handovers have become a source of friction.

Illustrative wordingIf a parent will be more than [15 minutes] late for a handover, they will message the other parent as soon as they know. After [45 minutes] without a message, the handover is treated as missed and the children stay with the current parent until [the next agreed time].

One channel and reply times

When it helps: Messages about the children are getting lost or mixed with other topics.

Illustrative wordingThe parents will communicate about the children through [a named co-parenting app]. Non-urgent messages will be answered within [48 hours]. Urgent matters about health or safety will be by phone call.

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Keeping the children out of the middle

When it helps: You want a shared commitment about how you will speak in front of the children.

Illustrative wordingNeither parent will ask the children to carry messages, discuss the terms of this agreement with them, or speak negatively about the other parent or their family in the children's presence, and each will ask relatives to do the same.

Calls and video with the other parent

When it helps: You want the children to stay in touch with the parent they are not with that day.

Illustrative wordingOn days they are apart, the children may call or video call the other parent [between 6 and 7 p.m.] and may reach either parent at any reasonable time.

Access to school and medical records

When it helps: One parent has been the main contact with schools and doctors.

Illustrative wordingEach parent may get information directly from the children's schools, doctors and activity providers and will be listed as a contact. Each parent will forward notices they receive to the other within [3 days].

Introducing new partners

When it helps: You want to agree how and when new partners meet the children.

Illustrative wordingNeither parent will introduce a new partner to the children until the relationship has lasted at least [6 months], and will tell the other parent before the first meeting. New partners will not attend handovers in the first [year] unless both parents agree.

Read the related guide

Travel consent letters

When it helps: Either parent may travel outside the country with the children.

Illustrative wordingA parent planning to travel outside [Canada / the United States] with the children will give the other parent at least [30 days'] notice with dates, destinations and contact details. The other parent will sign a travel consent letter within [7 days] and will not refuse it unreasonably.

Children's passports

When it helps: Passports have been, or could become, a pressure point.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] will keep the children's passports and give them to the other parent at least [7 days] before approved travel, to be returned within [3 days] after. Both parents will sign renewal applications within [14 days] of a request.

Notice before moving with the children

When it helps: Either parent might move further away in the coming years.

Illustrative wordingA parent who wants to move with the children to a home more than [50 km / 30 miles] away will give the other parent at least [90 days'] written notice, including the new address, a proposed schedule and a travel plan. If the other parent objects, the parents will try mediation before either applies to court.

Where the law differs: In Canada, the federal Divorce Act requires at least 60 days' written notice of a proposed relocation for parents covered by it, and several provinces have similar rules. US states set their own notice rules. Your clause can add detail but should not fall short of the law.

Read the related guide

Travel costs after a move

When it helps: One parent may move far enough that travel becomes expensive.

Illustrative wordingIf a parent moves more than [distance] away from the other parent's home, the parent who moved will pay [all / half] of the travel costs for parenting time, and the parents will review the schedule in mediation within [60 days] of the move.

Defining shared extra expenses

When it helps: You want to avoid arguments about which costs are shared on top of basic child support.

Illustrative wordingThe parents will share these expenses in proportion to their incomes: childcare needed for work or school; health costs over [$100] a year per child not covered by insurance; tutoring recommended by the school; and [one] extracurricular activity per child per term.

Where the law differs: In Canada these are called section 7 or special and extraordinary expenses under the child support guidelines (Quebec has its own rules). US states use their own terms for add-on expenses.

Read the related guide

Agreeing before signing children up

When it helps: Surprise activity bills have caused conflict.

Illustrative wordingBefore signing a child up for an activity costing more than [$500] a year, a parent will ask the other parent in writing. If there is no reply within [10 days], the expense is treated as agreed. Activities one parent chooses without agreement are that parent's cost.

Receipts and repayment

When it helps: Small shared costs keep turning into big arguments.

Illustrative wordingEach parent will upload receipts for shared expenses to [a shared folder or app] within [30 days] of paying. The other parent will pay their share within [30 days] of the upload.

Yearly income update

When it helps: Incomes may change and you want support to keep up without going back to court.

Illustrative wordingBy [June 1] each year, the parents will exchange their tax returns and [notices of assessment / W-2s and 1099s] for the previous year. Child support and shared expense proportions will be adjusted from [July 1] based on the new incomes.

Read the related guide

When child support ends

When it helps: Your children are approaching the end of high school.

Illustrative wordingChild support for each child continues until the child turns [18], or longer while the child is in full-time post-secondary education, up to [one first degree or diploma / age 23], as long as the child shares their school and income information each year.

Where the law differs: Rules on support for adult children differ a lot between provinces and states. Some places end support at 18 or high school graduation, others can continue it through post-secondary education.

Children's health and dental coverage

When it helps: Only one parent has workplace benefits.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] will keep the children on their workplace health and dental plan while it is available through their employer. Costs not covered will be shared [in proportion to income]. If coverage ends, the parents will agree a replacement within [30 days].

Read the related guide

Spousal support review date

When it helps: Support makes sense now but circumstances are likely to change.

Illustrative wordingSpousal support of [$X] a month will be reviewed on [date], or earlier if either person's income changes by more than [15%]. Until a review is agreed or ordered, the current amount continues.

Read the related guide

Step-down support

When it helps: The person receiving support needs time to retrain or return to full-time work.

Illustrative wordingSpousal support will be [$X] a month until [date], then [$Y] a month until [date], when it ends.

Review if the recipient moves in with someone

When it helps: You want a clear rule for what happens if the person receiving support lives with a new partner.

Illustrative wordingIf the recipient lives with a new partner in a relationship like marriage for [12 months], either person may ask for spousal support to be reviewed.

Where the law differs: Whether a new relationship ends or reduces support differs by place. In many US states remarriage ends alimony by law; in Canada it is usually a factor to review rather than an automatic end.

Income for a self-employed parent

When it helps: One of you runs a business or is paid irregularly.

Illustrative wordingIncome for support will be [line 15000 of the tax return / net business profit] plus [agreed add-backs], averaged over the last [three] years, adjusted for personal expenses paid through the business.

Read the related guide

Life insurance to secure support

When it helps: Support depends on one person's income continuing.

Illustrative wording[Payer] will keep life insurance of at least [$X] naming [the recipient / a trustee for the children] as beneficiary while support is payable, reducing by [$Y] each year, and will send proof of coverage each [January].

Read the related guide

Buyout with a deadline

When it helps: One of you wants to keep the home.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] may buy out [Parent B]'s share for [$X / a value set by an appraiser both choose]. [Parent A] will provide a mortgage approval by [date] and complete the buyout by [date]. If either deadline is missed, the home will be sold under the sale clause.

Read the related guide

Refinance deadline

When it helps: The person leaving the home is still on the mortgage.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] will refinance the mortgage and have [Parent B] released from it within [90 days]. Until then [Parent A] pays all mortgage costs and will cover any loss [Parent B] suffers. If the release is not done by the deadline, the home will be sold.

Read the related guide

How the home is sold if there is no buyout

When it helps: You may need to sell and want to avoid stalemates.

Illustrative wordingThe home will be listed with an agent both choose, or if you can't agree, [an agent chosen by a set method]. The list price will follow the agent's advice. Both will accept any offer within [3%] of the list price. Net proceeds are split [50/50] after paying the mortgage and sale costs.

Who pays until closing

When it helps: One of you is living in the home before it is sold or transferred.

Illustrative wordingUntil closing, the parent living in the home pays the mortgage, property tax and utilities, and the parents share major repairs over [$1,000] equally. These payments are [credited / not credited] when proceeds are divided.

Dividing a workplace pension

When it helps: Either of you has a workplace pension.

Illustrative wording[Parent A]'s workplace pension will be divided [by a lump-sum transfer of $X / as earned during the relationship] through [the plan's family law process / a court order]. [Parent A]'s lawyer will prepare the paperwork within [60 days], and the cost is shared equally.

Where the law differs: In Canada, pension division follows provincial or federal pension and family law rules, and Canada or Quebec Pension Plan credits are split separately. In the US, many workplace plans need a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO), while IRAs are usually divided by a transfer.

Read the related guide

Protecting education savings

When it helps: There is an RESP or 529 plan for the children.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] will stay the account holder of the [RESP / 529 plan] and give the other parent a statement each year. The money will be used only for the children's post-secondary education. Neither parent will withdraw contributions for their own use.

Where the law differs: RESPs are a Canadian plan with their own grant and withdrawal rules. 529 plans are a US plan with their own tax rules. Each has its own ownership and control rules.

Read the related guide

Debt with an indemnity

When it helps: One person takes responsibility for a debt in both names.

Illustrative wording[Parent B] is responsible for the [car loan / credit card ending 1234] and will pay it on time. If the lender asks [Parent A] for payment, [Parent B] will repay [Parent A] in full, including reasonable legal costs.

Read the related guide

Closing joint credit

When it helps: Joint credit cards or lines of credit are still open.

Illustrative wordingWithin [30 days] of signing, the parents will close all joint credit cards and lines of credit or move them into one name. Neither will add new charges to a joint account in the meantime.

Who claims the children for tax

When it helps: You have more than one child, or share time equally.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] will claim [child 1] and [Parent B] will claim [child 2] for [the eligible dependant credit / as dependents]. If only one child remains eligible, the parents will alternate years, starting with [Parent A].

Where the law differs: In Canada, credits and benefits such as the eligible dependant credit and the Canada Child Benefit have their own rules about who can claim. In the US, a custodial parent may release the dependency claim using IRS Form 8332.

Tax for the years you were together

When it helps: There may be tax owing, refunds or reassessments relating to your years together.

Illustrative wordingAny tax owing or refund for [tax years] will be shared [equally / in proportion to income for that year], and each will cooperate with filings or reviews for those years.

Where the law differs: US couples often file joint returns, so shared tax debts are common. In Canada each person files their own return, so this usually covers benefit repayments or reassessments linked to the years together.

Pets

When it helps: You share a pet and want certainty about where it lives.

Illustrative wording[Parent A] will keep [pet's name] and pay all its costs from [date]. [Parent B] may [care for the pet when Parent A travels / visit by arrangement].

Where the law differs: In most places pets are treated as property. A few provinces and states now let a judge consider an animal's wellbeing, so the rules are changing.

Read the related guide

Family photos and digital accounts

When it helps: Photos, cloud storage and shared logins are in one person's name.

Illustrative wordingWithin [60 days], [Parent A] will give [Parent B] a full copy of the family photo and video library. Shared streaming, cloud and loyalty accounts will be [transferred / closed] by [date], and each will change passwords on accounts the other can reach.

Dividing household contents

When it helps: You need a simple way to divide furniture and belongings.

Illustrative wordingEach keeps the items listed in Schedule [B]. Items not listed will be divided by taking turns choosing, with [Parent A] choosing first. Items with sentimental value to one person's family go to that person.

Read the related guide

Steps before going to court

When it helps: You want a clear path for disagreements that does not start with a court application.

Illustrative wordingIf the parents disagree about anything in this agreement, they will first try to resolve it directly within [14 days], then attend at least [two] mediation sessions, sharing the cost [equally], and then, if it is still unresolved, either may go to [arbitration / court]. Urgent safety issues can go straight to court.

Read the related guide

A parenting coordinator for day-to-day disputes

When it helps: Small parenting disagreements keep escalating.

Illustrative wordingFor [two years], the parents will use [a named parenting coordinator] to resolve day-to-day parenting disagreements, such as schedule details and activities. Costs are shared [equally].

Where the law differs: Parenting coordination is available in many provinces and states, but the coordinator's powers and how they are appointed vary.

Read the related guide

Yearly parenting plan check-in

When it helps: You expect the children's needs to change over time.

Illustrative wordingThe parents will review this parenting plan each [August] before the school year, and when each child starts [middle school and high school]. Changes need written agreement from both.

Time to get advice before signing

When it helps: You want to make sure neither person feels rushed into signing.

Illustrative wordingEach person will have at least [14 days] after receiving the final draft to get independent legal advice before signing, and neither will ask the other to sign on short notice.

Read the related guide

Defining what triggers a review

When it helps: You want to agree in advance which life changes can reopen support or parenting terms.

Illustrative wordingEither person may ask to review [support / the parenting schedule] if there is a material change, which includes [a job loss, an income change of more than 20%, a move of more than 50 km, or a child changing schools].

Read the related guide

Prenup sunset date

When it helps: You want the agreement to protect you early in the marriage but not forever.

Illustrative wordingThis agreement ends on our [10th] wedding anniversary unless we both sign a renewal before then. Property already divided under it is not affected.

Read the related guide

Prenup review after big life events

When it helps: You expect children, a move or a career change.

Illustrative wordingWe will review this agreement within [6 months] after the birth or adoption of a child, a move to another province or state, or a major change in either income, and update it if we both agree.

Keeping property separate, including growth

When it helps: One of you brings significant assets into the relationship.

Illustrative wordingEach of us keeps the property listed in Schedule [A] as our own, including any increase in value, income from it, and anything bought with it, as long as it is kept in our own name.

Where the law differs: In Ontario, the matrimonial home has special rules even if one spouse owned it before marriage. In Quebec, family patrimony rules generally cannot be excluded by contract. In the US, community property states and equitable distribution states treat growth differently.

Read the related guide

Gifts and inheritances

When it helps: Either of you expects an inheritance or family gift.

Illustrative wordingGifts and inheritances each of us receives stay our own, as long as they are kept in an account in our own name. If we put them into a joint account or the shared home, they become shared unless we both sign a note saying otherwise.

Read the related guide

Paying into a home one partner owns

When it helps: You move into a home your partner owns.

Illustrative wording[Partner A] owns the home. [Partner B] will pay [$X] a month toward household costs, which is not rent and does not create an ownership interest. If [Partner B] pays for renovations over [$5,000] with written agreement, [Partner A] will repay that amount if we separate.

Where the law differs: In some provinces, such as British Columbia, couples who have lived together long enough can share property much like married couples. Elsewhere in Canada, claims usually depend on contributions. Most US states rely on written or implied agreements between unmarried partners.

Read the related guide

Time to move out

When it helps: One partner owns or rents the home in their own name.

Illustrative wordingIf we separate, [Partner B] may stay in the home for [60 days] and will keep contributing to household costs as before during that time.