Travelling with your child after separation: consent letters, passports and abduction fears

The first holiday after a separation should be a good thing. Instead, many parents meet a border officer's question ("Where is the other parent?"), a passport form that needs a signature they cannot get, or a quiet dread that the other parent might take the children abroad and not bring them home.

This guide covers the practical side for Canada and the US: the consent letter, how children's passport rules treat separated parents in each country, the clauses that make travel routine, what to do when the other parent refuses, and what to do if you fear your child will not be returned. Rules differ by province, state and destination country, so confirm the details with a lawyer where you live.

Step one: read your agreement or order

Community Legal Education Ontario (CLEO) advises parents to check their parenting agreement or court order to see whether they need the other parent's permission to travel and whether they must share details such as flights and phone numbers. It adds a point that surprises people: even a parent with the right to make all decisions about the child may still need the other parent's permission to travel with them. If your agreement is silent on travel, that is the first gap to fix.

The consent letter

What it is

A consent letter is a signed statement from the parent (or anyone with decision-making responsibility) who is not travelling, confirming that the child has permission to travel. Global Affairs Canada recommends that "any child under the age of 19 should carry a consent letter" when travelling abroad without both parents, whether alone, with one parent, with relatives or friends, or with a group.

In Canada, "A consent letter is not legally required," but immigration officials, airline agents and Canadian officials may ask for one, and not having it can mean delays or refusal of entry or exit.

What goes in it

There is no official format. Global Affairs says a letter usually includes:

• the child's name;
• the names and contact details of the parents or decision-makers;
• "the full name, address, and contact information of the accompanying adult" and their relationship to the child;
• where the child is travelling, and the trip's dates.

Global Affairs provides a template, as an interactive PDF or a printable DOC. Use it.

Who signs, and the notary question

The letter should be signed by any parent or person with decision-making responsibility who is not travelling. Global Affairs says this applies to married, common-law, separated and divorced parents, and that "a consent letter is recommended even if a parenting order or agreement allows one parent to make travel decisions alone." If you have sole decision-making responsibility, it still recommends a letter from the other parent "whenever possible or safe."

Any adult may witness the signature, but "it is strongly recommended that a notary public witness sign it." Carry the original; copies may be questioned. If a parent cannot be reached or it is not safe to ask, Global Affairs suggests seeking legal advice.

What to carry with it

• The child's own valid passport (in Canada, "All Canadian children (15 and younger) need their own passport to travel").
• "a copy of any relevant court order(s) or parenting arrangement."
• If the other parent has died, "a copy of the death certificate of the deceased parent."
• A second piece of identification for the child, such as a birth certificate.

In Quebec

JuridiQC, the Quebec government's legal information service, treats travelling abroad with a child as an important decision requiring both parents' agreement, whatever the custody arrangement, unless a court has decided otherwise. It suggests telling the other parent the destination, the dates and how to reach the child, giving at least 30 days' notice, and agreeing a written process in advance.

In the United States

US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) gives similar guidance: for a child travelling with one parent, CBP "strongly recommends that the accompanying adult have a note from the non-traveling parent," signed by both parents if neither is travelling. Its suggested wording is simple: "I acknowledge that my wife/husband/etc. is traveling out of the country with my son/daughter/group. He/She/They has/have my/our permission to do so." CBP "suggests that this note be notarized." Where there is no second parent with legal custody, a court decision, a birth certificate naming one parent or a death certificate can help. (CBP publishes this as help article 1375; we read it as reproduced by a travel organisation, linked in the sources.)

Passports: the two-parent rule in both countries

Canada

For a child's Canadian passport, all parents or legal guardians must "participate in the passport application" and "sign the form," and should be ready to be contacted. Where a court order or agreement deals with custody or decision-making, "only the person with decision-making responsibility can apply for the passport"; where parents share joint decision-making, "either parent can apply for the passport." Applicants must provide "all legal documents that contain valid clauses related to custody, decision-making responsibilities," access, parenting time, mobility or the child's passport: separation agreements, court orders and divorce orders. Children 15 and younger need their own passport, and apply as adults at 16.

In Quebec, JuridiQC notes that a judge can authorise you to apply for the child's passport without the other parent's consent. Similar orders exist elsewhere; ask a lawyer.

United States

For a US passport for a child under 16, both parents or guardians must normally appear in person with the child. If one cannot, that parent completes Form DS-3053, Statement of Consent, "signed and sworn under oath before a passport authorizing officer or notary," with a photocopy of their government-issued photo ID attached; the consent is valid for 90 days. If the second parent cannot be reached, the applying parent may submit Form DS-5525 or a sworn statement "explaining, in detail, why the second parent cannot be reached." Consent may not be required if the applying parent shows "sole authority to apply for the child's passport," such as a court order granting sole legal custody, the other parent's death certificate, or a birth certificate listing only one parent.

Decide now who holds the passport between trips. Justice Canada's guide for parents lists "applying for passports, holding passports and other important documents, and signing consent letters for travel" among the things parents may want to address in their plan, alongside "taking vacations outside of the province or country."

Clauses that make travel routine

Most travel conflict is about surprise, not the trip. A good parenting plan removes the surprise. Consider including:

1. Notice. How far ahead each parent tells the other about travel outside the province or state, and outside the country. JuridiQC's 30 days for international travel is a reasonable benchmark.
2. Itinerary. Destination, addresses, flights, dates, a phone number where the child can be reached, and insurance details.
3. Consent letters. That each parent will sign a consent letter in the Global Affairs form within a set number of days of a request with the itinerary, and that unreasonable refusal can go to mediation or court.
4. Passports. Who applies, who holds them, and when they are handed over and returned around a trip.
5. Contact during travel. How and when the child will speak to the parent at home. See video calls and messages with the other parent.
6. Make-up time. Whether time is owed when a trip overlaps the other parent's schedule.
7. Destinations. Any agreed limits, for example travel only to Hague Convention countries (below), and how exceptions are decided.

FairWell's parenting plan builder includes a travel section. For holiday scheduling itself, see birthdays, holidays and special days across two homes.

If the other parent refuses to sign

First, ask properly: in writing, with the full itinerary, well in advance, and with the consent letter already filled in for signature. Many refusals are about not being told. If they still refuse, JuridiQC's sequence for Quebec is a good model anywhere: try mediation if time allows, and if there is no agreement, ask a judge to decide. The judge weighs the child's best interests, the reasons for the trip and the reasons for the objection, including whether the trip risks the child's health, safety or development, whether the return is uncertain, and whether the child wants to go. Start early; an application made the week before departure may not be heard.

If you fear your child will not come back

Most refusals to sign come from hurt or disorganisation, not from an abduction plan. But some do.

Warning signs

Global Affairs Canada's guide for parents lists risk indicators including: a parent who "has abducted your child before or threatens to take your child away from you"; who "threatens to harm the child, you or themselves"; who "shows interest in moving or returning to a country other than Canada"; and higher risk where the other parent "is financially independent," "does not have strong ties to Canada," or "has citizenship in or strong ties to another country." None of these alone means abduction is likely. Several together, with a refusal to share an itinerary, mean you should talk to a lawyer before the trip, not after.

Prevention

• Do not sign. Global Affairs is direct: "A consent letter will not prevent a child abduction. You should not sign a consent letter if you are concerned that your child may be taken or kept outside Canada."
• Ask for a court order. Orders can include "a prohibition on your child from travelling abroad without the permission of both parents," or "an order that your child's travel documents be given to the custodial parent," the court, a lawyer or the Passport Program. BC's central authority also mentions, where appropriate, "a bond or surety to be paid if a removal or retention occurs."
• Passport alert. If your child is under 16 and you fear abduction, you can ask the Passport Program to add your child to its System Lookout List. Understand its limit: "The Passport Program System Lookout does not limit your child's mobility or create an alert for border authorities." A US family lawyer can tell you about the equivalent State Department programme.
• Keep documents. Current photos of the child, a copy of their passport, the other parent's passport details and foreign addresses, and your court orders, in one place.

The Hague Convention in plain terms

The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is a treaty that, in the US State Department's words, "encourages the prompt return of abducted children to the country where they are habitually resident." It does not decide custody; the court in the child's home country "should generally determine custody and visitation matters," so the child is sent back and the dispute is heard there. The essentials from Global Affairs Canada and British Columbia's central authority:

• It applies only where "your child is less than 16 years old" and "when both countries involved are parties to the Convention." BC's central authority puts membership at approximately 90 countries; Global Affairs points to hcch.net for the current list.
• Your child must have been "habitually resident in Canada before being wrongfully taken to or retained in another country." The same principle applies to a child habitually resident in the US.
• Speed matters. A court may refuse a return if proceedings began more than a year after the abduction and the child has settled; BC's authority notes applications are more likely to succeed if filed "within one year of the child's removal or retention."
• Every member country has a Central Authority. "In Canada, each province and territory has a central authority that is responsible for managing every Convention case involving that province or territory." In the US, it is the State Department's Office of Children's Issues.

If the other country is not a member, a return depends on its own courts, which is why some plans limit travel to Convention countries.

If your child has been taken or not returned

Global Affairs Canada's steps, in order: contact local police and file an abduction report; contact Global Affairs Canada's consular services (1-800-387-3124 from Canada and the US); contact a lawyer; and, if the Convention applies, "contact the Central Authority in your province or territory" as soon as possible. US parents should contact local police and the State Department's Office of Children's Issues. Do not go and retrieve the child yourself; that can create a second wrongful removal.

Before you leave: a short checklist

• Child's passport, valid for the length the destination requires, and a photocopy kept separately.
• Original signed consent letter, notarised, with the other parent's phone number on it.
• Copy of your parenting order or agreement, and birth certificate.
• Itinerary shared with the other parent in writing, and the agreed call schedule.
• Destination entry rules for minors checked; Global Affairs advises checking Travel Advice and Advisories for "any specific entry or exit requirements for minors."

Travel is one of the places where a separated family gets to feel like a family on a good day: a child telling the parent at home about the beach on a video call, a parent who signed the letter without a fight. The paperwork is what makes that day possible.

Sources

1. Global Affairs Canada. Recommended consent letter for children travelling abroad. https://travel.gc.ca/travelling/children/consent-letter
2. Global Affairs Canada. Recommended consent letter for children travelling abroad: FAQ. https://travel.gc.ca/travelling/children/faq
3. Global Affairs Canada. International Child Abductions: A guide for affected parents. 2023. https://travel.gc.ca/travelling/publications/international-child-abductions
4. Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada. Documents to submit when applying for a child's passport. https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/canadian-passports/children/documents-submit.html
5. JuridiQC (Gouvernement du Québec). Travelling abroad with children after a separation or divorce. https://juridiqc.gouv.qc.ca/en/separation-and-divorce/children/health-education-religion-travel/travelling-abroad-with-children-after-a-separation-or-divorce
6. Community Legal Education Ontario. Can a parent travel with a child? https://www.cleo.on.ca/en/publications/custodyaccess/traveling-child
7. Department of Justice Canada. Making Plans: A guide to parenting arrangements after separation or divorce. 2026. https://justice.gc.ca/eng/fl-df/parent/mp-fdp/mp-fdp.pdf
8. Government of British Columbia. Frequently asked questions about international child abduction. https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/life-events/divorce/international-child-abduction/faq
9. US Department of State. Form DS-3053: Statement of Consent, Issuance of a US Passport to a Minor Under Age 16. https://eforms.state.gov/Forms/DS3053.pdf
10. US Department of State, Office of Children's Issues. Why the Hague Convention Matters. https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/abductions/legain-info-for-parents/why-the-hague-convention-matters.html/1000
11. Discover Corps. Children Traveling With One Parent Or With Someone Who Is Not A Parent Or Legal Guardian (reproducing US Customs and Border Protection help article 1375). https://travel.discovercorps.com/home/general-travel-resources/traveling-with-children

This guide is general information for parents, not medical, psychological or legal advice. It draws on published research and guidance from recognised health and family justice bodies, listed under Sources. Every child and family is different. If you are worried about your child or yourself, talk to your family doctor or a qualified professional. FairWell can help you find one through the professional directory. How we write and check our guides.